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And Hackensack's Lido Restaurant gave him just that.
The sports internet mogul stopped by the ever-popular Main Street joint this week for another installment of his "One Bite" pizza review series.
"I love it in there," said Portnoy, standing outside of the old-time restaurant. "It's straight out of the 1930s. You've got the old people sitting around, bar-style. I hope it's going to be bar pizza... it has to be, right?."
Lido opened in 1956. The restaurant briefly closed in 2018 for renovations, but reopened weeks later.
The "One Bite" series got its start with Portnoy reviewing classic bar-style pizzas, the CEO said.
"This would be in that vein," he said. "When I score this, know this is the kind of pizza I put in my tank, when I put gas in my tank. Bar pizza."
After his first bite into a slice, Portnoy repeats himself: "I love bar pizza.
"A little bit on the sweet sauce. Could have slightly more crisp like it's a little bit of a sloppy mess for bar pizza."
He goes for another slice: "I want to see if I ate it too fast."
Overall, Lido's earned a respectable rating of 8.1 from the Barstool pizza man himself.
"I love bar pizza," he said again, two slices in.
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